United States of Islam

What is changing??

I have grown up in a traditional Pakistani family. My dad was 8:00-4:00 guy and mom a house wife or more precisely a “home-maker”. She indeed was, since she taught us not only our course books but ethics and social norms for a lifetime. Disrespecting an elder was considered a severe misdemeanor in our family, let alone disrespecting your own parents.

What was getting different in a matter of few years since that teenage girl was hardly 7-8 years younger to me, yet she could so conveniently do what I can never imagine happening even in my conscience?

What is changing?
Our genetics? Our environment? Our moral obligations? Or simply our priorities?

I began analyzing, the factors that led to it, the whys and hows of it. The effectiveness of this curse, that has spoiled the west and is now slowly gradually and sadly so but successfully ruining our society, its moral structure, its foundation. There is so much to it but I would briefly mention just two basic yet extremely critical factors here.

The first being our famous and extremely vocal media. Come to analyze it, media has played a very disappointing role in bringing in social changes which we never needed in the first place; taking away precious possessions we had such as, our mental peace replaced by anguish and despair for the world around us; time with our children replaced by the urge to see what’s the latest in news and fashion; our children’s physical activities and simple games replaced by playstations, movies and cartoons that give berserk messages while not watching them is considered a social meltdown so on and so forth. They get to feel that being a ‘brat’ (aka ‘bratz’ for girls) is the first hip thing. Life was a lot simpler when we didn’t have as free of a media as we have now, wasn’t it? PTV wasn’t that bad after all; at least it never threatened our sanity.

A lot of people I know advocate the role of a “free” media though. I searched this word “free” in the dictionary and it gave 49 definitions. Wow! Now are we referring to the free media as “enjoying political autonomy, as not under ‘foreign’ rule; independent” media (like really?) or we are referring to it as “acting without self-restraint or reserve” media or the funniest one “given without consideration of a return or reward” media. When trying to choose between these definitions for the media we have in Pakistan, I just had to close the website and move on. I wish we could rather campaign for the role of a ‘responsible’ media and could actually understand at mass level what it means.

Media now has the power to manipulate our thoughts, opinions, lifestyles, our judgments, morals, perceptions and even reality. This statement alone is the most horrifying truth of present times. Since now we are at the mercy of media to analyze any situation we face since our clogged lives do not have any time left to do the same on our own, give us the picture which they want us to see and in turn trigger the responses which are desired by them, not us. And yes they are being miserably successful at that. Distances growing, lives complicating and minds shrinking!

Second being our changing lifestyles. When we get into our family systems, we now refuse that for a child the first school is his ‘mom’s school’. No one can be as sincere and honest to a child other than his own mother who teaches him basics and complexities of life in the sweetest way possible. But wait, where are we standing right now? Mums who have to work to make both ends meet alongside the man of the house to afford few luxuries for the child apart from the necessities. After all that’s what every parent dreams of, i.e. to give a complete wholesome and comfortable life to their children. The role of mothers has expanded from just “care-givers” to “care cum necessities cum luxury givers” now. Consequences? It took away precious time which could be spent with the child preserving his innocence and natural persona and It took away the beautiful guise of moms that nature has bestowed them with, i.e. to raise raw kids into remarkable human beings.

I realize moms and dads have busy social lives with parties and late night hangouts. After all we need a timeout after a whole week of work and tough projects. Come on, we deserve a “little enjoyment for our own self”. Well if the child wakes up after a nightmare at home, guess the nanny is trained enough to make him fall asleep again. Come on we have to maintain our social circle too, don’t I need to be in the “in” crowd to get all the success in life and all the satisfaction in my “today”? Friday and Saturday nights are the busiest, so the brunch time or picnic time to be spent with kids could be well spent in bed, getting ready for a tiring week ahead. And to rest some more, TV (our infamous media) comes to our rescue as we send them to watch their favorite channels and catch up on our remaining sleep. When we don’t give our today to them, how do we expect them to give their tomorrow to us?

Top of the line items in clothing, toiletries, shoes, bags toys, books, eat-outs etc., we don’t settle for anything less than the best for our children. Just like the pitiable father of that teenage girl, who had managed to rear her with all the luxuries he could muster, only to discover later he hadn’t done enough. Will we ever be able to do enough? When we have so many choices and so many varieties, and we can even provide those to our off springs then why are they not satisfied? Why are they unable to provide their parents their basic right i.e. respect and preference? Why this race for providing everything available at the store, why not settle for a little less and instead gain ever lasting happiness and peace not to mention due respect?

Just one conclusion: more than anything else, they need a lil’ more of our time now, a lil’ more of our genuine care (not material care) now and a lil’ more of our vigilant eye on whatever they are exposed to….now.

A regular session of half an hour with our father to discuss good deeds of the day was a typical day-end routine. Dinner was unimaginable in front of the TV and had to be a family bonding time. There was a limit to computer use (Yes I had a computer back then too). Watching movies till I turned 15yrs old was a complete No-No. TV time ended at 9:00 PM. People could think it was old fashioned but it really wasn’t. It kept our innocence, our personalities, and our morals away from being shattered and falling prey to the ruthless media and our hardnosed lifestyles. It kept us being ‘children’ for a long long time, before the tides of life could eventually transform us into well bred, well kept adults.

Its really time we should think what are our priorities? Is it our children which make our future IF we make their present? Or we make our own present which will become a PAST to us sooner anyway!